Take the day off

I did a quick check on some numbers & there was no mistake. Time seemed to have moved in a surreptitious fashion & on the previous Thursday it was exactly 8,400 days or 1,200 weeks since Jyoti & I have been married. Do not know what caused these well-rounded numbers (must have something to do with my fitness J)

I have already written an article last year around the same time, after our previous anniversary and do not plan to make this an annual ritual (the article I mean, not the anniversary J). But am adding in a couple of more points which can be an addendum to the previous article. Yesterday I had taken the day off to spend time with Jyoti & we went for a movie, then lunch at her favorite restaurant & then a walk in the evening together. As is the norm, we received many congratulatory calls during the day from friends & family. There were a lot of positive comments about the fact that I had taken the day off especially from some of the recently married couples. The oft-repeated comment was that their husband’s need to get some ‘counselling’ from me on being better spouses. I realized that this piece of info must have made me the most unpopular person among their spouses, as they were sure to got an ‘earful’ about ‘learning something from this example’.

To set the record straight, this practice of taking the day off was not something done in the first 13 years of my own marriage. In fact it was exactly the opposite as managing sales operations meant that the last day of the month was invariably a long drawn affair culminating into very late nights. Invariably the day would start with threats (or pleading) to the sales team by the various managers, executives making (supposedly) desperate efforts to meet sales targets & then cajoling the support team for getting the sales logged into the system so that they would be accounted for in the month of February (only the 3 Leap years in between offered some temporary relief to this agony). It must be statistically baffling buyer behavior that more than 75% of sales are closed only in the last 3 days of the month. But I have digressed & need to get back to the main topic being discussed again.

So coming back to the discussion thread, I have been as guilty of most present day (married < 10 years) husbands of not taking off time on my own wedding anniversary earlier. But given a choice I wholeheartedly recommend this option for all married couples. But before I go any further, the disclaimer is that this does not apply to spouses having monthly target oriented jobs and who have been stupid enough to agree to a month-end wedding (worse when it is the quarter or year-end). This happens invariably in cases where the individual cannot believe his/her good luck that one is finally getting married in seemingly uncertain situations & starry-eyed folks readily agree to any proposed date (as it happened in my own case J).

You can buy a lot of gifts for your spouse & over the years the gifts should definitely become bigger and more expensive. But most spouses (there can always be exception to this rule J) would additionally treasure the gift of your time. It is definitely more valuable than any gift that one could get for your spouse. It is clearly an indication that you value her more than other things in your life & are willing to spend time together on such a special day together. Try to make this day special in many small & big ways and do the things which you normally do not get the time to do. Try going for a long drive, watch the sunrise or sunset together or take her to her favorite restaurant, theater and museum. Plan some things in advance & do some things on the spur of the moment. All of this will ensure that you create memories which will last longer than most of the gifts, flowers or cards you give her. After all there are only one or two such important days in your life & providing them the appropriate importance will cement the relationship leading to stronger bonds.